Q Merchandise Tie-Ins

Or, what might happen if Q had the merchandising rights for the Star Trek characters.

      Julia Houston

1. The Picard Petard
2. The Ball-verly Crusher
3. The Data Paint-By-Numbers Kit
4. The Janeway Skin Care line
5. The DS9 Worf Remover
6. G.I. Wesley
7. The Jean-Loo
8. The O'Brien Little People Village and Playset
9. Vash's Secret Lingerie
10. The Sisko the Clown Punching Bag

    Laura Taylor

11. Chakotay's Do-It-Yourself Face Painting Kit (perfect for Halloween!)
12. Plaster of Tom Paris
13. Frozen Harry Kim Chee
14. B'Elanna Tortillas
15. Neelix Knee-Hi's
16. Sisko Cooking Oil
17. Jadzia Fax Machine
18. Kira Adhesive Bandages
19. Egg Nog

    Julia Houston

20. Ky Win's Pix-Six Lottery Tix

    Laura Taylor

21. Picard Create-a-Card
22. Troi-bilt lawn equipment
23. Worf Security Systems (better than a barking dog!)
24. Tasha Yar Tar Pit Day Spa
25. Tasha Yar frozen desserts
26. Barclay Banking & Investment firm
27. Bashir antihistamine (when people hear "Bashir", they say "Gesundheit"!)
28. Odo Chiropractic Clinic (you're putty in our hands!)
29. Rom wasn't built in a day architects
30. Garak throat lozenges
31. Gul Dukat chocolate coins
32. USS Defiant overnight maxi pads (they'll keep you cloaked!)
33. Domino's Deep Space Nine large deep-dish pizza
34. Janeway hair care products
35. Tuvok self-improvement tapes
36. Kes & Tell psychic hotline
37. USS Voyager Travel Agency (specializing in one-way tickets to remote locations)

    Julia Houston

38. Livingston Private Investigations, Inc. (Have WE got some candid photos of you-know-who!)
39. Rikerbrau
40. Lore's Singing Telegrams
41. Troi's Candygrams
42. Jean-Luc's Stripograms

    Laura Taylor

43. Pic-3-card Lottery (also known as "Pick 3 Picards")
44. Data & Bev's School of Dance
45. Hugh of Borg, Licensed Professional Counselor
46. Captain Ben Sisko Memorial Ballpark
47. Spot Stain Remover
48. Chakotay Aftershave (for the Angry Warrior in you!)
49. Neelix Liver Spot Concealer
50. Better Homes and Hyrdoponic Gardens Cookbook, the Voyager edition
51. Qwatch classic timepieces (Time stops for the Qwatch!)
52. Madame Tuvok, mind reader

    Julia Houston

53. Jake-o-Lanterns (just in time for Halloween)
54. I Can't Believe It's Not Odo
55. Jadzia Dax Worm & Bait Supplies
56. Lwaxana K Cosmetics
57. Kahless Shoe Source
58. Dr. Soong's Deoderant Footpads
59. BarbieBorg
60. And her boyfriend, Kim (sold separately)

    Laura Taylor

61. Paris-cheesi board game
62. Odo's Advanced Twister
63. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Klingons
64. Barrel O' Humans
65. Hungry Hungry Hogans
66. Neelix facial tissues
67. Risan yeast
68. Seven of Nine Wonderbra
69. Deep Space Nine: The XXX Version (available only at adult video stores)
70. HD-250 (or whatever it was) Isomorph cleaning solvent (kills organics! Removes greasy, filthy bloodstains without leaving an oily residue!

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