Top Ten Things Q Does to Alt.Fan.Q Spammers


      Ruth Gifford

  1. Replaces the pictures of the "hot horny babes" with pictures of the people who actually produce the pictures.
  2. Strikes them with the curse of impotence.
  3. Proves that their money making schemes are illegal and gets them slapped with charges of racketeering.
  4. Buys products, passwords, etc. with credit cards belonging to their competitors, and keeps doing this on down the line until they all turn on one another in a feeding frenzy.
  5. Turns them into Spam (the lunch meat-like product).
  6. Let's just say that you don't want to get a letter bomb from Q. You just *don't.*

    Julia Houston

  7. Snaps his fingers and flings them into alternate reality where they are at first thrilled to realize they're on the Enterprise under the command of Captain Kirk, then horrified to realize they're wearing a red shirt and scheduled for the next away mission.
  8. Forces them to wear LeeTa's clothes and Picard's hair.
  9. Do you remember Tasha Yar? Do you remember Denise Crosby? 'Nuff said.
  10. Makes them write "I will not pester nice people with my ridiculous money schemes in their newsgroups where they're just trying to have some fun" on a blackboard 1,000,000,000,000,000 times.

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